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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?